well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
