i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
MIDGETS
????
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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