problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
