Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
