Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Randomize
