Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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