how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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