Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
