Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
