Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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