He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
