the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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