everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
