hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
