Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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