her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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