I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
