So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize