i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
