so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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