If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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