my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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