ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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