Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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