Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
