Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
