We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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