Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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