It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's just like the Real World with babies
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize