You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's like iHOP with fire
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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