so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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