I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize