woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
