So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up under a house in Key West
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
