This is not my ceiling
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
