Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
