look no pants
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
