Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
