My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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