Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just saw a hot homeless man
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize