dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
