If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You dont lie about slip and slides
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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