My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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