office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
