I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
