Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize