Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
