And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
