fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
