I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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