if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
