He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
