uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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