doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
