all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
