Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize