but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
